I don’t come around as much as I use to, but I’m always ready when my people are in need.

We are in the midst of a crisis. People are getting sick, people are dying, and people are buying all the butt paper.

What a conundrum.

I’m pretty neutral on the whole thing. I’m not hiding in my home but I’ve also quit blowing snot rockets on door handles. Everyone has to do their part, ya know?

Lots of folks are upset that I’m neutral. I have people on one shoulder yelling at me because I could have the disease and spread it to the world because I leave my home and the other half yell at me because it’s an over hyped media hit on the Trump administration to tank the market.

Hell if I know, I just wanna go visit my mom again without feeling like I might unknowingly commit a homicide.

I do find it strange that all the hysteria happened after The Bachelor finale. Women got to enjoy their grand finale but men were stripped of every sport possible including the greatest tournament known to man. Maybe it’s a disease drummed up by the ladies to keep their men from drinking beers and watching sports. Now we have to drink beers and listen to them and I’m not enjoying it as much as the other.

I keep up with the numbers. I’m a big numbers guy. Everyone keeps saying we suck at the disease, like there was a way to win. I know that our percent of population infected and death rate is basically identical to South Korea and they’re playing basketball again. I wish we were playing basketball again…

I don’t like being compared to Italians. That’s been the worst part of the whole thing. The Italians have a death rate of nearly 10% while ours is around 1.26% and has continually went down. People said we were less prepared than them. I don’t know if there’s a way to win but we are definitely not losing to the Italians. There’s a sentence you can use in pretty much every circumstance.

Now I know those two paragraphs of facts are going to stir up emotions in my comments and emails, let me save you the time and tell you unless your “valid” points and “educated” comments take bowling off the television and put hockey back on it, I don’t care.

I don’t like everyone treating everyone like they’re a contagious ball of death. I want to go back to being more afraid to fart in the store than sneeze. I have allergies, it’s allergy season, when I sneeze now I feel like I may get assaulted by bottle of Lysol.

Save your efforts. I drink enough bourbon to burn any diseases living in me.

I don’t know where I’m headed with this. I have a lot of thoughts, but I don’t know how to put them all in order. Maybe I’m just writing this so maybe you’ll share something fun to read instead of Corona horror stories. Stop doing that. No ones reading what you share. Only you find it interesting. I’ll say it. Your friends won’t. We’re all pretty tired of your shit Kathy.

I’m also tired of “updates” from every business and organization. I don’t need you to tell me you’re doing everything in your power to sanitize and clean your store Starbucks. I hoped you would do that anyway. There’s plenty of news, I don’t need the Local VFW giving the latest low down.

I’m not going to tell you to “do your part and stay home”. I’m also not going to tell you “it’s nothing, party on”. I’m not going to tell you anything. There’s plenty of people telling you stuff. I just want to say I miss sports.

I just really miss sports.