This website would have been a worldwide success if there was some way the reading of it could improve your health. The world is ate up with get skinny quick, lower stress, improved bodies, blah blah blah. As long as people continue to hate what they see in the mirror, that will never change.

Young entrepreneurs take note; invest in health and you’ll never go hungry.

Oh and if you can sell them the health product and then allow them to sell the product and you get a cut, stand back and watch people shit themselves. But, we’ve covered that before.

Essential oils have been around for a while now and I’ve sat back and watched people soak themselves in them to relieve headaches, sleep better, reduce stress, or whatever other kind of benefits that rubbing yourself with peppermints can reduce.

Let me just say, if you need to lather up in lemon oil to boost your mood, you’re probably just an asshole. When you’re done lathering, you’ll still be asshole, but with a fresh lemony fragrance.

Never have I ever been around someone who sucked and thought, “I bet lemons would help this situation out tremendously.”

Here’s an idea to see how dedicated women are to the Oil Life. Run down to labor and delivery mid push and start offering Jasmine over Epidural. See which wins. Should be a nail biter.

The Fourth of July is an absolute electric holiday. Fireworks lighting up the night sky, burgers on the grill, American flags waving loud and proud.

Well on the Fourth of July my dog gets scared, hides in a closet, and pisses himself if you get near him.

My wife rubbed lavender oils on his ears to see if it would help.

Spoiler alert: It didn’t.

It seemed like a good idea, but when I found out it wouldn’t make him deaf I had a sneaking suspicion we were trying to mop up the squirts with a toothbrush.

If I can speak honestly here, and I can because I run the place, it seems like a lot of the mythical benefits of essential oils are similar to smoking marijuana.

I’m not expert on either I just know one will get you arrested and the other will make you smell pretty.

If you think essential oils are beneficial to your life, press on. I’m not here to slow down your train. I just have sneaking suspicions of health products that are marketed towards a specific gender.

Can you imagine meeting up with Greg at the golf course and listening to him tell you about how his most recent blend changed his whole outlook on life for 18 holes?

Granted, if Greg plays uncharacteristically good golf, you may want to look into it.

I’m trying to figure out how my grandmother made it to her 90’s without the soothing effect of Sandalwood. Are women really that much more stressed and unhealthy than men?

Or, have they simply not figured out how to press the essential oils out of Busch Light yet?

What kind of oils can they squeeze out of largemouth bass?

I’m thinking I might would wear oils squeezed from the fairways of Augusta.

What oils would you like to see?

I love you all. Good to see you again.