The wait ends today. The greatest week in the year of a Logan Countian begins today. The excitement in the area is palpable. Iron your overalls, scrape the cow crap off your boots, stock up on your Marlboros, the Logan County Fair has arrived.

The Logan County Fair has been growing by leaps and bounds over the past few years. Remember when it sucked? Yeah, me too. No more though. The fair is packed with events, Monday through Saturday. There is something for everyone to enjoy, even if it’s just a funnel cake prepared by a man wearing an apron with no shirt on and a “Do It for Dale” hat turned backwards. Don’t worry about where his cigarette ashes are going. They put the powdered sugar on last to cover them up.

There are too many events to name. For a full list, look on Facebook. The paper wrote an article listing all of them too. They used a cool cover photo too. Notice I didn’t use the same one. Wild.

There are a myriad of events I am looking forward to. For instance, the demolition derby. I’ve never seen one, but they say the last one was a swell time. I’d say it would be tough to find something more entertaining than hearing a rebel yell emit from a 1995 Cutlass right before it slams into its competition. I’ve got chills just thinking about it. Do I need to camp out for tickets or how does this work? Do they sell booze there or is everyone going to load up before hand? I don’t want to be the only one rolling in a cooler full of Busch Light.

The rodeo should provide entertainment as well. Rodeos are a weird situation to me. The attire spectators wear is really confusing. It’s like they pick out their nicest work clothes. They’re dressing nice for a night out, but staying prepared in case someone needs help plowing a field on the way there. Also, everyone shows up just in case a bull lands on someone face. Seriously. That’s why they’re there. The crowd is secretly hoping for a catastrophe. It’s an arena full of humans who stay up late at night watching bone breaking videos on YouTube. They’ll clap if you ride “Big Mac” for eight seconds, but they’ll cheer much louder on the inside if he crushes your femur.

I may even try out the tractor pulls again. You know how it went for me last time, but I learned a lot and I’m more prepared. I still need to get to Hutson and get a list of tractor part names to yell out when something breaks, but I have a few days to get that together. I’ll also be looking for the bastard who gave me a running start to lung cancer last time. Chance are, at the rate he was blazing bogeys, he’s probably not around anymore anyway.

The fair should be a banger. I plan on being there as much as I can because I have a strange feeling I might find content. You might see something I miss though and you need to be prepared to capture it and send it to chiefofoakdale@gmail.com. Do it for Oakdale. The people will appreciate it.

If you see me out and about come say hello. I’ll be dropping cookie crumbs all over the place on our Snap Chat, TheOakdale. I’ll also be giving a run down of the daily events every morning on our Snap Chat, you won’t want to miss that.

Let’s have a “fair” week, shall we?

See what I did there? Eat one, New York Times.