What a wild day yesterday was. Elections are fun, right?

I know you want me to say something about that one thing that happened yesterday. Ya know. That big thing. The thing everyone’s talking about. But, I won’t.

It’d be fun, I think. Like, really fun. But, I won’t.

Politically neutral is where we stand here at The Oakdale and by politically neutral I mean no one has paid for an ad.

You get it.

I will, however, say something about my voting experience. It’s partially my fault for not addressing the situation before hand. I should have known this would be an issue for some and I let those people down.

There seemed to be some confusion as to who you can vote for in a primary.

There was a lady in front of me who was visibly distraught and bewildered that she could not vote for sheriff as a registered Republican. She was easily in her sixties and looked like a seasoned voting veteran when she went in the booth. No one questioned her box filling ability, as everyone assumed she had been voting since the James K. Polk administration. But, when she came out of the booth and demanded to fill out the Democrat voting sheet, we realized we had grossly overestimated her voting ability.

She seriously almost got buck in there. Smoke was rolling out of her ears like one of those stupid ass diesels your cousin drives. The one with the “stack” on it he uses to compensate for other short comings in life. She really couldn’t grasp it and nephews behind the table couldn’t help her lights come on.

When I think I run out of material, it’s crazy how something just falls in my lap.

Let me break this down for everyone in Oakdale terms so we are all clear for next time. During a primary, you may only vote for your parties candidates. We call it, “staying in your own lane”. In November, you can vote for whoever in the hell you want, we call it, “freedom.”

Just as an example, when basketball teams are setting their lineups, the opposing team isn’t allowed to have a say so. If they did, how many times do you think LeBron James would get to play in a season? Exactly.

I apologize for not doing that last week but I assumed and you know what they say. Either way, I feel bad because only there was only a 27.66% voter turnout and I could’ve helped get it to 28% but unfortunately those people stayed at home because they weren’t sure how the system operated.

Seems like everything worked out though…

Also, what about a coin flip for 5th District? What a wagon. It’s 2018 and we haven’t figured out something better than a coin flip? What about an outhouse race like they do at the festival or who can stand on top of the Courthouse on a sunny day the longest without food or drink? People also love arm wrestling, hot dog eating contests, and jousting. You could sell tickets and make it entertaining!

But no, flipping a quarter. C’mon cuz.

Bright side for everyone, no matter if your person won or not, the state can finally mow the damn grass.