Chicago Tribune– The Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park can spout 300 feet of scalding water into the air, a feature of the world’s tallest active geyser. That is known.

What isn’t known is why is the geyser has erupted three times in the past six weeks, including one event on Friday in an unusual pattern that hasn’t occurred since 2003.

The spike in activity has puzzled scientists who closely monitor Yellowstone – the crown jewel of the national park system that rests on top of a violent supervolcano measuring 44 miles across.

Though scientists say the reasons for the spate of eruptions is unclear, officials with Yellowstone Volcano Observatory cautioned that the geyser activity is not a sign of impending doom.

First off, no shit. Of course they’re going to tell you that there’s not impending doom. Do you think they’d give you a heads up so we could all flip balls and run a muck? No. They’ve seen the damage we do when we simply gather just to “protest”, no way in hell they’re taking that chance.

Obviously, we are a pretty good trek from Yellowstone. But the eruption will be big enough to drop ash on us like a drunk girl smoking her first cig. It will eliminate electronic communication, eliminate air travel, and alter our climate; sending us into a “nuclear winter” type situation.

We are in a unique zone, far enough where we might survive, but close enough to not bet on it. So how do we prepare for impending doom?

I have no clue. Ask a prepper. Those nerds have been saving up Raman Noodles and learning how to drink their own urine for a while now in preparation for this day. All I can tell you is to head for parts of the county where the population is low, like Spa, or Dot. Unless, of course, you enjoy killing looters and the scum of the Earth that comes out after a tragedy.

I’d say going to Walmart will be a sure death experience. Honestly, your odds are pretty high when you go there on a normal basis anyway. People forget how to operate vehicles as soon as they get on the property.

That’s pretty Logan County if you think about it. “Oh my gosh there’s ash and death everywhere! I better get to Walmart!”

Laugh now, but in the event of a Super Volcano eruption, I bet “Going to Walmart” is the second leading cause of death.

If you’re going to start prepping let me give you some advice; forget about matches and weapons; stock up on booze. You’re going to die anyway, might as well enjoy your final moments and maybe make a friend or two. No one has more friends at the end of the world than the guy with a pallet of Natty Light.

From all of us here at The Oakdale, it’s been fun. Who would have thought that a Super Volcano would be the end of us. Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor.

If by chance we make it to Saturday unscathed by volcanic ash, look for the new Barley Pop Sports Podcast on iTunes. We will be joined by our good friend Rowdy Rob live from his new job at the Kentucky Derby. #Plug