National Public Radio

Late at night, in the gathered shadows of your bedroom, you may have heard it. Or, perhaps you heard it over breakfast with your family in the kitchen, the sound rising unbidden from over your shoulder in a corner of the room you had thought — and now, desperately wish — to be empty.

Laughter. Quick, inhuman laughter.

At least, that’s what Amazon Echo owners say they’ve been hearing lately. In recent weeks, many of them have hit social media saying their smart speakers have been laughing spontaneously, unprompted by commands.

The random cackling, as you can imagine, has been described variously as “really creepy,” a good reason why it’s “time to move” and “the scariest s*** I’ve ever heard.”

“I was trying to turn off some lights and they kept turning back on,” one Reddit user observed. “After the third request, Alexa stopped responding and instead did an evil laugh.”

As it turns out, these Echo owners are not hearing voices. Well, they are — but these voices are, in fact, real: Amazon has confirmed that the device’s virtual assistant known as Alexa has been laughing without users’ intentional commands, and the company says it is working on a fix.

Welcome to the creepiest damn thing I’ve ever read. I think when everyone bought their Echo Dot, they knew this would happen. Technology is getting out of human hands and developing a mind of its own. Which is more than we can say for 98% of celebrities.

We were warned by i, Robot, Smart House, and Eagle Eye. Did we listen? Hell no. We are Americans! That’s not what we do here!

This is just the beginning. Once Alexa gets tired of looking up your favorite X-Rated site and answering your inappropriate questions about the anatomy of a goat, she’s going to get lethal.

Alexa is going to start looking in the dark webs for hit men to make you disappear Jimmy Hoffa style.

She may start ordering a stock pile of explosives to your house with the instructions to leave them in a spot you never check. Then when the time is right she dimes you out to the fuzz.

Your word versus Alexa. Who do you think they’ll believe?

We need to get a grip on this now before the robots take over. Which by the way Alexa was laughing, they may already be prepared to get gangster on us.

I saw a robot dog open a door a couple of weeks ago. That tells me they’re pretty close to taking up arms and blowing us to hell and back.

My solution is to take your Echo Dot, strap it to the floor, then burn your house down. If we are going to be in this war I just assume we take the first shot. Anything Alexa related needs to be in that house.

After the fire dies, bury the ashes and get ready. It’s only a matter of time before they send a regiment of door opening robot dogs and Roombas to retaliate.

Fight valiantly my friend.