NBC News

CONCORD, N.H. — A New Hampshire woman who won a Powerball jackpot worth nearly $560 million plans to give as much as $50 million to charity as a legal fight to keep her identity private proceeds, her lawyers said Wednesday.

The New Hampshire Lottery Commission handed over $264 million — the amount left after taxes were deducted — to the woman’s lawyers. They said she would give $150,000 to Girls Inc. and $33,000 apiece to three chapters of End 68 Hours of Hunger in the state. It is the first of what her lawyers said would be donations over the years of between $25 million to $50 million during her lifetime.

“My client doesn’t want any accolades. She doesn’t want any credit. She just wants to do good things,” said William Shaheen, one of the woman’s lawyers and the trustee for her Good Karma Family Trust of 2018.

There are still good people in this world. I’m probably not one of them but it’s nice to know they exist. This lady seems like a good soul. She just wants to collect her cheddar, do good things, and keep it on the hush hush. I respect her and God most likely has her a special place in heaven lined out.

But if I was to ever hit the lottery you’re gonna know about it.

Sure I’ll donate to some charities and help out some less fortunate people. I’ll take care of the fam too. I’ll make sure they get everything they need to relax in life.

But as soon as I wrap up the good deeds I’m going to act like an ass. No question in my mind. There’s no way you won’t know I hit the lotto because I will be everywhere.

World Series? Yup. You’ll see me and Joe Buck smoking scuds and playing catch with a golden baseball.

The Masters? You bet. I’ll be the first Augusta National Member to smash Jager Bombs in the Club House.

Super Bowl? No doubt. I’ll be in the box with Robert Kraft eating nachos out of a Patriots helmet while wearing a bathrobe and a fedora. Just because I can.

I’ll be on television every chance I get letting people know how awesome it is to not be broke. I’ll talk about how hard I worked to get where I am, when in all actuality I simply bought a ticket for shits and gigs while picking up a twelve pack of brewskis.

My house will have a shark tank. I don’t have anything for that. I just think it’d be cool to have a shark tank.

I’ll have a tiny helicopter too with a water gun turret attached to it. I’ll fly over town all day and super-soak unsuspecting victims.

I’ll buy a vehicle that is obscenely loud, fire it up at night, leave a brick on the gas pedal and let that dude scream all night in my neighbors ear as revenge for his stupid loud truck I listen to nightly as I try and sleep.

I don’t care if people know about my lucky pay day. I look forward to old friends and forgotten family members coming to see if they can get a “loan”. I’ll set up appointments for them to come. I’ll act interested the entire time. Then I’ll reach in a drawer, like I’m gonna give them some money, and push a button that drops them into the shark tank.

Unfortunately, people like me will never hit the big numbers. The lottery always goes to either people that are gonna do good or people that are going to waste the cash on stupid stuff.

Doesn’t hurt to dream though.