While at work yesterday I overheard a coworker read something aloud over his phone that asked, “Would you shoot your best friend in the leg for a million dollars?” I didn’t key into the conversation, but as I sit here now I thought I’d let you know my response.

Bang. Done.

I would have a hole in their leg before the person asking could finish their sentence. My rapid approach would also prevent my friend from attempting to flee and risk me not getting a good shot off. I would hate to miss and put it through his back and void my payment. I would assume I’d still get paid but I am not one hundred percent sure if the body part would be a deal breaker.

Don’t be disgusted with me that I would do it because I promise you each and every single one of my friends would do the same to me. I’m not so sure we wouldn’t do it for half a million dollars. All of us would at least rack one in the chamber and try and negotiate another hundred grand or so.

If I’m the one selected for the slug I’m fairly sure the boys would ask, “You sure you wanna pay that much?”

It’s unwritten code that we are going to try to avoid any arteries and bones and whoever gets the wound gets a split of the cash. Flesh wound 25%, Broken bone 35%, permanent damage 50% and a stack of Arby’s coupons.

If you don’t have these matters worked out with your group of friends, I say you should.  Not just for a shot in the leg but a grab bag of hypothetical situations. You don’t want to cost your friends a payday because you had some issues with the verbal contract you wanted to hash out last minute. Having a game plan for every situation wins championships.

“It’s only a million dollars, if you think about it, that is not that much money.”

Woah. Stay out of my lane Money Bags Becky. I’m not sure where you come from but even the 25% split is good money. Will you retire off of two hundred fifty thousand? No. But it would sure make my daily a little easier.

Obviously, this is done as a joke. But I legit think if someone put the money in front of you, your mouth would water a little. Hell I might go all Plaxico Burress and hammer down on my own thigh.