April 8th, 2013 was, at the time, the worst day in my history of being a sports fan. The Louisville Cardinals basketball team had just won the national championship, while in Lexington, the Kentucky Wildcats were recovering from a first round NIT exit courtesy of Robert Morris.

I received a Facebook message from an old friend that night that read, “wait a long tim 2 tel u dis butt how abot them CARDS!!”. Although spelling and basic grammar wasn’t this particular Louisville fans strong suit, as tends to be the case with most of them, his upper cut found my jaw. I never responded to that message. I’m not sure I’ve spoken to him since. What could I say? As someone who defends the Wildcats with feverish tenacity, I had gone cold. I was defeated and at a loss for words.

But here we are now.

After 5 years and an NCAA investigation, I’m ready to respond to that late night message from a dear old pal. But this isn’t just for him. This is for all of you “L” throwing, Crown sipping, line beard having, trash bag beer drinking, neck tattoo having, bastard Louisville fans who only cheer for the dirty birds to aggravate UK fans.

Hey. How about them Cards, right bud? What a performance! You guys really nailed it! First team to have a National Championship stripped from them. I stand and applaud good sir! Up to that point everyone thought Calipari forfeiting two final fours was bad but Louisville was all like, “Hold my joint and watch this.”
They won those games. I give you that. It happened. Not in the eyes of the NCAA, of course, but it did happen. The NCAA can’t take away your memories and celebrations. But they can and did take away that banner stained with hooker sweat. They can and did take away 122 wins bought and paid for with dollar bills inserted in stripper thongs. They can and did take away any evidence that Louisville basketball existed from 2011-2015.
You keep your memories and I’ll keep my copy of Cardinal Sins.
I hope your team learned their lesson. I hope that’s the last I have to hear of any mishaps from them…
Wait.
Seems like I heard something about a FBI investigation…
Your team was so pompous that as they were being investigated for unimaginable and unprecedented offenses they decided it would be a rock star idea to pay a recruit! NCAA investigation? Pfft! Weak sauce! Show me the Federal Bureau of Investigations. Louisville didn’t just take the cake they burned down the whole damn bakery.
Your darkest days lie ahead, not behind. The grim reaper is in your arena ready to deliver the death penalty with a mighty swing of his scythe.
Enjoy whatever fruitless success comes before now and then buddy. How about them Cards indeed.

I apologize to the true die hard and respectable Cardinals fans out there. I could not begin to understand what you are suffering through. What Louisville has put you through is unfathomable and unacceptable. But your choice to stand behind a morally corrupt program is yours and yours alone.

Best wishes!